Published May 23, 2021

Grief is typically associated with some type of loss. This can be the loss of a loved one, the loss of a pet, or the loss of a relationship. However, for caregivers, different types of grief can be experienced throughout the caregiving journey. Each caregiving situation is unique; therefore, how individuals process and express grief is also different. For many family caregivers, caring for a loved one can take up a significant amount of time, energy, and attention. One type of grief caregivers may not recognize or even know about is anticipatory grief. Anticipatory grief can occur when caring for someone over a prolonged period of time, and caregivers start to grieve for their loved one before they pass away (Family Caregiver Alliance, n.d).

What is Anticipatory Grief?

Anticipatory grief is a normal process, even though it is not discussed as much as grief after a death (Whitley, 2020). Anticipatory grief can be experienced while caring for someone whose abilities change. These changes can range from dietary restrictions to decreased mobility to cognitive changes. Caregivers have to adjust to these changes and may grieve the loss of a loved one’s previous self. Caregivers may also experience more personal losses such as loss of control, independence, family harmony, and more (Family Caregiver Alliance, n.d). Frequently facing these losses and anticipating the loss at the end of life can be just as difficult to experience as grief after a death. Again, anticipatory grief is a normal experience that results from the anticipation of loss.

Anticipatory grief is believed to occur in stages, generally beginning with shock about the anticipated loss, then denying the reality of the loss, and eventually acceptance. Thus, anticipatory grief changes over time and is a process for caregivers to adapt to the patient’s illness and potential death (Toyama & Honda, 2016). It is important to identify the feelings associated with anticipatory grief to avoid the physical and emotional issues grief can cause, such as sadness, anger, depression, and sleeplessness (Family Caregiver Alliance, n.d). Anticipatory grief is associated with higher levels of anger, loss of emotional control, and irregular grief responses (Toyama & Honda, 2016). Therefore, noticing and identifying anticipatory grief can help caregivers constructively face it and continue to provide quality care to loved ones.

Signs of Anticipatory Grief

Anticipatory grief can present itself in the following ways:

Coping with Anticipatory Grief

While anticipatory grief may be difficult to deal with, it may also be a way to emotionally prepare for the loss of a loved one. Identifying and understanding anticipatory grief can help caregivers cope with the grief and losses of caring for a loved one.

Similar to traditional grief, anticipatory grief is a process, and everyone experiences it differently. As a caregiver, it is important to be able to identify anticipatory grief in order to constructively cope with it. Recognize feelings of anger, anxiety, fear, guilt, and sadness. Understanding that there is a name for these experiences and that it is not a unique phenomenon may help normalize these feelings of grief. Allow yourself to adjust to and grieve the changes or losses associated with caring for a loved one. Expressing your feelings, grieving, and taking care of yourself are helpful tools to cope with anticipatory grief.